Not so sure about this one

I stumbled across this article today on msn.com and I'm just not sure how I feel about it (aside from the fact that it did make me laugh a little). It's a 'how to' on finding a mate at church. Don't get me wrong, I know that church is a great place to meet a potential spouse and I am totally guilty of checking out the guy in the row in front of me. However, I feel like it should just be an added bonus to things that you are doing because you feel called to do them. I think I have a problem with the suggestion that you should do service work or leadership work because it will make you look better to possible mates. Having served in leadership in my church I know first hand that if you are doing it for the wrong reason, you will be miserable. Church leadership, on any level, is difficult. You have to be doing it because it is what God wants you to be doing at that time. Not because it might make the cute guy in the worship band notice you.

Again, I get it that church is a great place to meet people. But, if that's your only reason for going, you might need to rethink a few things.

Stand out in your congregation

By Margot Carmichael Lester When Sue moved to Houston, she wanted to find two things: a good church and a good man. Her first stop was a mega-church, where she threw herself into activities. It worked. A year later, she was planning her wedding.

Sound like your dream scenario? Then read on! We’ve got tips for standing out in big congregations, making the most of singles ministries and finding that certain someone among the pews.

Lighten up. “A lightened attitude is the fastest and easiest way to help you to stand out,” says Sam Glenn, a frequent speaker for the Billy Graham Evangelical Association and author of A Kick in the Attitude! “It shows you are light-hearted and you know how to have fun. Carry a smile and have a look on your face that says you are ready to laugh. This will make you more approachable and friendly. Plus, it’s been scientifically proven that having a good sense of humor makes you look more attractive.”

Work your network. “Ask friends who share your religious beliefs to introduce you to potential dates,” says April Masini, author of Dating Out of Your League. “Make it a habit to attend multiple services to increase your chances of meeting as many different people as possible.”

Make your move. With so many singles around, not making a move when the opportunity arises could keep you in the lonely zone. But how? “Just say ‘Hi’, introduce yourself and start asking questions about the other person,” says Stephen Simpson, a clinical professor at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, CA, and author of What Women Wish You Knew about Dating: A Single Guy’s Guide to Romance. “Once you find points of common interest, start sharing more about yourself. There’s really no magic trick. Don’t resort to cheesy pick-up lines. You and your potential date have to get to know each other. If that doesn’t happen, a cool opening line won’t help. Share what excites you; that’s what counts.”

Get involved, part I. “My church is huge, so there are tons of activities,” says Dave Wallace of Memphis. “I go to a lot of different programs in addition to our singles ministry, so I meet a lot of people. Right now, I’m dating a woman I met during a service project. Who knew I’d find a date while swinging a hammer?”

Get involved, part II. Take a leadership role. “One of the best ways to stand out is to get out in front of a crowd,” says Natalie Radley of Chicago. “I volunteered to lead a few projects for our church. After a few weeks, I was approached by a man who’d attended some meetings and events. We went to different worship services and never would have met if I hadn’t volunteered to lead.”

Enlist a higher power. Don’t be afraid to ask for God’s help in writing your love story. “When you ask for what you want, you move closer to getting it,” says Wendy Lyon, a certified relationship coach in San Rafael, CA. “Be bold, and let the whole universe know what you want. Then you will find that many opportunities show up for you to have the life and love you’ve been dreaming of!”

Look inward. “Remember this above all,” Glenn says. “It’s not so much about meeting the right person, as it is becoming the right person. When I learned this, I began to work on me. I prayed for God to work on me so that I would be a gift to someone special. I worked on my character, my health, and my finances—any issues that blocked me from being my best. I realized something special and this perception changed my heart. It got me passionate about working on me.”